One-sided conversations with my fellow commuters

I'm on a cruise right now. What I am not doing is driving one hour to work and one hour home every day. And when I get back from my cruise, I am moving into my new apartment, and then i won't drive to work at all. Ever. Even in nasty weather. Because it really is faster to walk.

And these are all the things I will no longer be thinking during my commute (because I will be walking three minutes each way instead of driving one hour each way):

• Hi dude. Let's try moving out of the left lane if we are going to go 55.
• Oh, hey Mr. BigTruckMan, you riding my tail is not actually going to make me go any faster. So, take a chill-pill or go around me. It's not like there isn't room for you to do so.
• Hi there, Mrs. HummerWoman. How's your gas mileage? I got 36.7 miles per gallon on my last tank.
• Hmmm... Mr. GreenCar. Not really sure what makes you think it is safe to weave in and out of traffic like that.
• Hey fellow drivers, that wreck is on the OTHER side of the highway. Maybe if we don't gawk at it we can keep our side of the highway moving along.
• Why, hello there Little Gold Car, if you observe that car after car after car is passing you on the RIGHT, then you should probably move over a lane so they can at least follow the passing law and pass you on the left. Yes, I know they are going WAY over the speed limit. It's okay if you just keep going your speed one lane over and let them drive like maniacs on the other side of you.
• You know, I get the allure of the HOV lane, but not so much if you are going to go the same speed as the stalled traffic to the right of us. Just because they have slowed down to 45 does not mean we have to! Our lane is clear!
  

Yep, won't have these thoughts in the six minutes I will spend walking to and from my apartment. And I'm relishing that thought.