Family legends

You are not Native American. I'm sorry. You're just not.

I know you have high cheekbones.

I know you rarely have to shave your face.

I know that family legend says that you are descended from a Cherokee princess.

Nonetheless, you are not a Native American.

At work we get a lot of people who want us to prove they are Native American. A lot, I tell you. The thing is, most of these people are not, and even if they were, most tribes have closed books these days (meaning, they are not accepting new members). Why do people suddenly want to become members of the tribes? Affirmative Action? Not really. Cool stories? Nope. Money? We have a winner.

Native American tribes with casinos and hotels and such are making big bucks. My fellow-genealogist just spent a week with members of a certain tribe who earn $45,000 per month. Each. Every single tribe member. That's $540,000 per year. No doubt, that is a lot of money. And who wouldn't want to get in on the action?

The only thing is, if you are a white individual who has been raised as a white individual, who has never had to endure any sort of hardship because of your race, you do not deserve to cash in.

I believe my great-great-grandfather was Jewish, which would make me 1/16th Jewish. That does not mean I deserve a settlement on the West Bank. My family and I have not ever had to endure any trial related to our Jewish ethnicity. I cannot even begin to claim any remote sense of connection to Jewish people. In short, I am not Jewish even though my second-great grandfather, Isadore Gasser, was.

Attempts to claim Native American ancestry irritate me (in case that wasn't already apparent). It's one thing to know that your ancestors endured a lot as part of their race; it's an entirely different thing to attempt to profit from that.

And yet, it's a two-edge sword. If a client wants us to determine their Native American ancestry, we are not going to turn them away. We will certainly tell them from the start if it looks unlikely that we will be able to prove such a thing, but we do need to make a living, and if you want to pay us for something, we will gladly take your money. Just know that if I am researching your Native American roots, I am (a) probably not going to find anything, and (b) I am going to be annoyed that you are trying to profit from other people's misery.