19 October 2011

On Husband Bashing

I'm sure we've all noticed the trend in marketing and media that portrays men as buffoons and women as very clever. Comedians have commented on it, and people whined about it extensively. (Brian Regan has told some very humorous jokes about the stupid husband ads, but I can't find it readily. Too bad.)

One thing I've observed as a married lady is the tendency women have to get together and, well, husband-bash. It's usually fairly good natured, so "bash" may not be the best word. Still, as we sit around and gab, we can usually find that our husbands have a lot in common, and they are things that are easy for us to poke fun of. Things like not being organized, not asking for directions, being messy, being totally absorbed in tv/computers/sports/etc. that they don't notice the children making huge messes, making huge messes themselves, not noticing new hairstyles, and the list could go on. Like I said, these tend to be things that men have in common, so when we get together as women it's easy to point out these things that men (as a whole) don't do so well. And then we chuckle to ourselves about how different men and women are.

So, yes, I've been party to these chats, and I've chimed in about how it mystifies me that Eric doesn't do X, Y or Z in the exact way that I would, and doesn't he realize how much easier his life would be if he just obeyed my every order and changed the baby/fed the baby/washed the dishes/drove the car/etc. exactly like I do.

The only thing is, my husband is actually really awesome at a lot of stuff, and I want to shout from the rooftops that Eric has got some skills.

When women complain about how their husbands aren't good at cleaning, I love to chime in that Eric is great at cleaning! He is super helpful and is often the one who proposes that we do some tidying up around the house. He's really effecient, too.

Eric can cook lots of great things. He's a great help around the kitchen, and I love to cook with him.

Eric notices how I look. He has preferences and opinions about how I do my hair and the style of clothes that I wear. I like that he's willing to give his opinion, particularly when I can't make a decision.

He can do pretty much all the baby-caring stuff that I can do. Nursing, of course, is the lone exception. I do not know how women used to take care of their children when the husbands didn't help as much as they do now. In fact, on the rare occasion when our kid wakes up in the middle of the night, Eric is the one to respond to the cry (when I wake him up and tell him to go take care of whatever Ike wants).

Eric is great at saving us money. He asks for discounts on things like car repairs, and he is a team-player when it comes to budgeting and saving money. I do not know what I'd do with a husband who couldn't control his spending.

My husband is social, and I love that. He's usually the one who suggests we should have people over, and he's the main reason we have been making more friends in our neighborhood.

So next time I'm in a husband-bashing conversation, I'm going to think back on this post and mention a few of the things my husband does well.


Ana said...

Chris and I do not argue. Occasionally we disagree but he will not argue with you. He says "why would you say horrible things about/to your eternal companion, the person you love?"

I remember one time I was with a small group of friends from church and they were talking about argument that they had had with their husbands. I had nothing to the conversation. They said "Oh that's right - you two don't argue."
It felt very awkward. I think it's a pretty good thing to feel awkward about though :)

Packrat said...

You do have an exceptional husband. There aren't many out there like him - at least not that I've seen. My husband was pretty good, and in most ways still is. (He's just incredibly busy right now.) Don't get me started on what I think about those other men.

Janssen said...

I would DIE if I had one of those husbands who just bought stuff all the time that we couldn't afford.

(My cousin's husband bought a boat. Wtihout telling her. While they were in school and had three more years of schooling after that. After she said they shouldn't buy a boat. If that was Bart, I would have been forced to murder him).

heidikins said...

Um, love Janssen's comment and her hinting at her inner murdering abilities. :)

I think many times we get into the complaining mode so easy. I'm husband-free, but I find that with previous boyfriends I have fallen into the Complainy Complainerson rut far too often.


Lanette said...

I know I need to be better about not complaining, and I have to admit that while I feel awkward when other ladies are husband bashing, I am usually thinking of a few things I could add to the conversation. But I know Shaun doesn't talk bad about me to other people, and really, he has way more reason to--married to a crazy emotional chocoholic like me? Yeah... =)

Shalissa said...

What a truly lovely post! Good for both of you!