Dead Bread

Eric's dad opened my eyes to the wonders of the dead bread store. I hope to never again buy bread from a regular grocery store, and here's why:

I don't really care for white bread. I love and adore wheat bread. It tastes better than white bread. It is good for you. Or is it? In fact, most wheat bread is not really wheat bread. It's fake wheat bread. Real wheat bread lists "whole wheat" as the first ingredient, not "enriched wheat flour." And that is where the dilemma begins. Because at the grocery store you can usually get a loaf of wheat bread for about a dollar, but if you want the real wheat bread, you have to fork over the big bucks- like $3 per loaf. And that's just silly.

But at the dead bread store, you can get real wheat bread for about a dollar. That's a steal, folks. Only, it's not like you're stealing because in actuality those bread people are stealing from you when they try to make you pay $3 for a stinkin' loaf of bread. Just go to the dead bread store and stock up, and never spend outrageous sums of money on real wheat bread ever again. And despite the nickname "dead bread," the bread is actually just as fresh as the stuff at the regular grocery store.

(To find a dead bread store near you, just Google your city's name and the term "bread thrift store." You're sure to have one somewhere nearby).