Multitasking

I listened to en episode of RadioWest with Doug Fabrizio recently. (It's a local hour-long show that airs weekdays at 12 on KUER 90.1.) The title of the show was "Distracted," and it was about how our whole society is constantly distracted because we choose to be. I found it to be a really interesting show, but the thing that really struck me were the comments by a University of Utah researcher who came out with a study on multitasking recently. The conclusion of the study was that most people are really lousy at it, even if they think they are not. There is a very small percentage (like 2%) of people who are exceptional at it, though.

The thing is, when people hear these results they probably think, "I'm in the two percent." Only, the thing is, they almost definitely aren't.

In the show they talked quite a bit about talking on cell phones while driving, and it's really no surprise that it is really dangerous. It doesn't matter if you are using a headset or speaker phone. The fact of the matter is that talking on your phone while driving is a serious distraction. For various reasons it is not as distracting as having a conversation with somebody in your car, nor is it as distracting as listening to the radio or an audiobook.

And so I've given up talking on the phone while driving. If you call me, it is highly unlikely that I will answer. Whatever it is can wait, just like you would have done before I had a cell phone. It may sound like my giving up talking while driving is more inconvenient to other people than it is to me, but I assure you it is not.

I cannot tell you how often I use my "down-time" in the car to make phone calls. I call my mom a lot from the phone because it's a time when I'm "not doing anything else." Only, hello, yes, I AM doing something else. Something very important and very dangerous. I've known for quite some time that I really shouldn't talk on the phone while driving, but it's just recently hit home for me how seriously dangerous it is.

What are your phone-while-driving policies?

On saving money

I am reading and loving A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith right now. It was originally published in 1943, but I had never even heard of it until a couple of years ago. It truly is delightful. I loved the part when the main character's Austrian-immigrant grandmother is telling her daughter (the main character's mother) about how to save and set aside money:

You must do it thus: You go to the green grocer's and ask how much are carrots the bunch. The man will say three cents.Then look about until you see another bunch, not so fresh, not so large. You will say: May I have this damaged bunch for two cents? Speak strongly and it shall be yours for two cents. That is a saved penny that you put in the star bank. It is winter, say. You bought a bushel of coal for twenty-five cents. It is cold. You would start a fire in the stove. But wait! Wait one hour more. Suffer the cold for an hour. Put a shawl around you. Say, I am cold because I am saving to buy land. That hour will save you three cents' worth of coal. That is three cents for the bank. When you are alone at night, do not light the lamp. Sit in the darkness and dream awhile. Reckon out how much oil you saved and put its value in pennies in the bank. The money will grow. Someday there will be fifty dollars and somewhere on this long island is a piece of land that you may buy for that money.

A few years ago I saw a man on television talking about how to save money. He talked a lot about a "cappuccino fund" or something of the sort. His point was not that you should never be allowed a cappuccino, but that if you are having one every single day, you are losing a lot of money. He also made the point that not everybody's cappuccino fund involves cappuccinos. It has made me often wonder what my "cappuccino fund" includes. Obviously, it isn't cappuccinos, but there are certainly things in my life that I could live without. This particular passage made me think about some of my current non-necessities, because these folks lived in tenement housing in Brooklyn at the turn of the century. They were poor. They were barely getting by, but they managed to save money by making sacrifices.

It's made me wonder about my line of frugality. I'm not quite sure where I draw the line between, "This is a practical and worthwhile sacrifice so that I can have what I want in the future," and "This is just a ridiculous way to make me rather unhappy for the present time." I do know that saving money involves sacrifices, and generally for us those sacrifices are rather small and very worth it.

To Know

I'll probably find out if I'm having a boy baby or a girl baby on Friday. That is, my 20-week ultrasound is scheduled for Friday morning, and we'll just see if the baby cooperates.

It's a fairly common question that I get: Are you going to find out?

Truthfully, I can never envision a time when I wouldn't find out. I just like to know what's going on. I like to be prepared for all contingencies. Even though I am not a particular worry-wart, I just like to be aware of what is going on and what the standard procedures are when something doesn't go well.

I learned recently about the standard procedures when a baby is breech, because my friend's baby was breech. Incidentally, the baby flipped herself around a few weeks before her due date, but I was very full of questions about what the medical personnel would do and when these things would take place. I wasn't particularly worried for my friend; babies are breech quite often, and the doctors know how to handle it. Plus, she wasn't especially worried either. I just wanted to know exactly how it was that doctors handled breech babies.

I get a lot of satisfaction from being informed - about a lot of things, not just pregnancy and babies. I ask a lot of questions. I loved to find out about people's careers. Perhaps sometimes people think I'm nosy, but I just like to know what it is that people do all day, why it matters and how that person feels about it. I like to know how different companies function. I like to know about various physical ailments and how those ailments affect the people who have them. I like to know why people like certain books or shows or movies.

So part of my liking to know things is that I want to feel at least a little bit prepared. Obviously I can't plan for every outcome, but even if I know ahead of time what might happen if something doesn't go completely right, it helps to alleviate any worries I have. The other part of my liking to know things is that I like to know different people and what makes them tick.

My needing to know the gender of this baby satisfies both of my reasons for liking to know things; I will be prepared with the proper attire for the gender of this little human, and I will already have a better idea of what will make this little person tick.

Facebook Suggestion Fail

One of the cool things about social technology is that the operators of social networking sites can create algorithms to determine things you may like or people you may know. In the case of Netflix, it is truly awesome.

Facebook hasn't quite mastered it yet, though:
In case this is too small for you to read, it suggests that because I like Southwest Airlines I might also like "Being Conservative." Why, yes, yes I do enjoy "being conservative." If by "being conservative" you mean "being a conservative pinko commie."

Then, not 30 minutes later I got this suggestion:
Well, which is it, Facebook? I can't very well like being conservative and Barack Obama at the same time!

Note:
Facebook also suggested that I might like the TV show "Family Guy" because I like The Giver. I really don't see the correlation there. Facebook's algorithms need some work. (Clearly they are basing this on sheer quantities rather than any sort of observable patterns.)

Wishful thinking, indeed

In March I wrote a post about all the things I hoped I would have time to do when I was no longer spending two hours per day commuting. My list included:

• Cook most days.
• Be in charge of grocery shopping again. (Eric has done a great job in the interim.)
• Read even more. (This one might be wishful thinking since I already do a fair amount of reading with my carpool buddy.)
• Practice Spanish.
• Keep my apartment astoundingly clean.
• Exercise.
• Blog more regularly. (I hate it when a week goes by without a post. My unofficial goal is three per week.)
• More time with Eric to actually do stuff other than stare at screens together.

Perhaps some of you are wanting an update:

• I do not cook most days. Sigh. I do cook more than I was before. Part of the problem is that I still find myself starving when I get home. The last week has been better, though.
• My reading has practically dropped off the face of the earth. I'm not really sure how that happened. I need to pick it up again. I have been listening to more audio books, which might have something to do with my not actually reading as much lately.
• I haven't practiced a lick of Spanish besides the shuttle ride from our hotel to our cruise ship in which we were seated next to some Brazilians. Eric spoke to them in Portuguese, and I spoke to them in Spanish. Everyone could understand everyone, and I'm ready to go to Brazil now.
• My apartment is not astoundingly clean, but I have been making a concerted effort to keep it fairly tidy. This is a big deal for me because I am not a naturally tidy person.
  
• Eric and I joined a gym. I have yet to go to the gym. This needs to be remedied. The gym has a very low monthly fee, which I think is part of the reason I don't feel a lot of guilt for not going. Eric and I have been going on a lot of walks, though, and that's nice.
  
• I maybe am blogging slightly more than before.
• Eric and I have definitely had more time together. We spend it going on walks and staring at screens together. We clearly need to get some other hobbies. At least we have time together, though, and that has been really nice.
  

Summer of Love

This summer is the summer of weddings for me. One of my old roommates is getting married in Sacramento at the end of this month. (Road trip!) One of my best friends from back home is getting married in September. Plus, two of Eric's cousins are getting married this summer. Come to think of it, I don't know exactly when one of them is getting married, but I am assuming it is this summer.

All these weddings and showers and such have led me to a couple of questions:

• What are the most useful/best gifts we got five years ago?
• What have I learned in the last five years?
• What is the single best piece of advice I could give somebody who is getting married?

And of course, I can't run around asking such questions without at least attempting to answer them.

All of our kitchen stuff has been really useful, but I think the best gift we got was our rice cooker. Hands down, it has received more use than any other thing that we got. Well, maybe not anything. However, if we had not received a rice cooker, I don't think I would have necessarily purchased one. I thought they were handy, certainly; that is why we registered for one. But I didn't realize just how much we would use that thing, and how much we would love it. With that said, I don't know that I'll get rice cookers for everybody who is getting married this year. I love mine, but will they love theirs? Will they have room in their kitchen for one? Will they find it as gosh darn amazing as I have found mine?

I could write a whole bunch of posts about what I've learned in the last five years. More than anything else, I've learned about communication. I've gotten a lot better about expressing myself in sensitive ways, especially when I am agitated. I have learned that sometimes I need to be very direct when telling Eric what I want or need from him. He isn't a mind reader, and I shouldn't expect him to be. Sometimes that means I have to say, "This is the point in the conversation where you tell me that I'm awesome." I've gotten better at expressing my own feelings and at telling Eric how much I like him and otherwise complimenting him and expressing my appreciation. So, yeah, communication. I think it was just something I've had to learn by doing.

My best piece of advice for anyone on just about any topic is "Figure out what works for you." I'm happy to share with you what works for me, but that's just it - it works for me. You and I are different. What works for one may not work for the other. I think it's great to seek out advice, but ultimately you have to figure out how your lifestyle aligns with your goals and your preferences. If you have a problem you can't solve, feel free to seek out advice, but don't feel like you have to solve your problems exactly the way other people solve theirs. Case in point: A piece of advice you hear often is "don't go to bed angry." I can see where people are coming from on this one; you shouldn't let your anger fester and go unresolved, but the later I stay up, the more likely I am to say something hurtful. It is better for us to say, "We can talk about this tomorrow. I love you. I'm going to sleep now." I just do better at life when I'm not tired; and I do better with my problems when I've had time to think them over and figure out exactly why I am feeling a certain way over them. This works for me. It may not work for you, and that's fine.

What useful gifts did you receive? What have you learned? What piece of advice do you like to share?