Felix Funnies

That four-year-old of mine has been saying some funny things lately. Here are a few:

~~~

While I was getting ready for work one day and he was whining about going to the sitter's I asked him if he could remember what my job was.

Me: I'm a genealogist. Can you say that?
Felix: No, I can't. It's not a real job, mom.

At least a week later, while reading to both boys, after not discussing this in any way:
Felix: Wait, Mom, stop. I have to tell you something. Genealogist is not a real job, Mom.

~~~

One day when he had a stomach bug:
Me: Felix, come inside so you can have some lunch.
Felix: I'm not eating lunch today. I'm fascinating.

~~~

"I just wanted it spiky and it just did this." #momcanfixit

A photo posted by Sherry (@containyourexcitement) on Dec 8, 2016 at 12:44pm PST

~~~

When he is angry with me:
Felix: You're grounded, Mom.
Me: What am I grounded from?
Felix: You're grounded from making dinner.
I then explained this is actually not a punishment for me.

~~~

When Eric made peas to go along with dinner one night:
Felix: You're fired from making peas for dinner, Dad!

~~~

Felix is not a picky eater, but lately he complains about whatever we are having for any meal. I could feed him a bowl of cotton candy, and he'd find a reason to complain about it. Each night at dinner we do "good, bad, and helping" where we tell something good about our day, something bad about our day, and what act of service we did that day. Many days with Felix go like this:
Felix: My bad thing is we're having this for dinner, and I just didn't want this. My good thing is it's very delicious.

~~~

"Is there a vacuum in this box?" "Yes." "Okay, just making sure that there's not a dog in there."

A photo posted by Sherry (@containyourexcitement) on Nov 30, 2016 at 8:19pm PST

~~~

I read Matilda by Roald Dahl to the boys. It starts with an explanation that most parents think their kids are pretty great, even if they aren't. I stopped to explain some of the wording to my boys, and Felix said:
Felix: Just like we think Baby is the best baby in the world, even though she scratches and pulls hair?

~~~

I'm having a baby in June, and Felix loves to tell people we are having two babies. He means that when our new baby arrives we will have Trixie (the current baby) plus the new baby, but it always comes off like we are having twins. Then I have some quick 'splaining to do.