Baby Plan Dreamland

Y'all, I'm having a baby next month, or maybe the month after that. Time will tell. I don't think I ever made an official announcement here because nobody really reads this anymore, and most of those who do also follow me on social media. At any rate, my due date was June 15, and then it got pushed back to June 26, so we'll just see when this baby comes.

Meanwhile, I've done lots of fantasizing about how I want this to go. Overall, this has been my easiest pregnancy. I've definitely had the least morning sickness. I got my heartburn under control from the start (thanks, prescriptions!). The baby must not have spent any time being transverse because I've had virtually no chronic hip pain. (Plus, I've been seeing a chiropractor because my insurance covers it, so why not?) This baby passed the 20-week ultrasound, so I haven't been stressed out about a heart defect. I have definitely gained more weight with this one than any previous one, but I'm still measuring small and am well within a normal weight gain. I haven't had any really strong cravings or aversions.

Along this vein of best pregnancy so far, I'm hoping to combine all of my kids' bests into one Optimal Baby. The delivery will be like Felix. The baby will nurse like Ike. The baby will sleep like Trixie. The baby will spit up as little as Trixie. The baby will not mind strangers like Ike. The baby will not mind being put down like Ike. But if the baby needs to be held all the time it will be super small like Felix. It will be a voracious and non-picky eater like Trixie. It will nap like Ike. It will have the speech skills of Felix. It will defy all the other babies and not go bald after a few months.

I know I can't actually control any of these things. But it's nice to hope.

2015 - In Review

I always love to look back on my previous year and reflect on the ups and downs. When I think back on 2015 all the things that pop into my head are "Difficult pregnancy and baby with a hear defect." And obviously, that was a huge part of my year. But I did not just sit around twiddling my thumbs while waiting for Trixie's arrival. Life was lived!

Of course, the biggest highlight was having Trixie. Her heart defect threw us for a loop, but it also blessed our family in many ways. We are so grateful to have her in our family, and we have felt the love of God in countless ways since learning of her diagnosis and welcoming her to our family.

I counted 36 medical and dental appointments on my 2015 calendar, and I know there were a few I missed. Many of those were pregnancy-related checkups, but it still adds up to a lot of time in doctors' offices. I'm crossing my fingers for fewer appointments in 2016.

Places in 2016:

• Utah
• Hawaii (No kids!)
• Nevada (just drove through)
• California
• Oregon
• Washington (just drove through)
• Idaho
• Montana
• Wyoming

Fun activities:

• Camping! And lots of it. We camped in Utah, California, Oregon, and Wyoming.
• Biked the Hiawatha Trail. It was challenging and fun. We'd like to do it again one day when the kids are bigger.
• Swimming in the ocean, both in Hawaii, and a little bit off the Oregon coast.
• Canoeing! So much canoeing! Rivers included:
• Trinity River in Northern California
• Smith River in Northern California
• Rogue River in Oregon
• Nehalem River in Oregon
• Spokane River in Idaho
• Snake River in Wyoming
• Jordan River
• Provo River (But I had just had a baby, so I was absent for this one. The boys had fun though.)
• Colorado River (But I had just had a baby, so I was absent for this one too.)
• Clark Fork River in Montana

Other noteworthy things for 2015:

• Felix became potty trained at two years and three months old.
• Ike cracked his head open and got four staples.
• Then he broke his wrist and got a cast.
• I started teaching Ike to read. (Everyone remind me of this if I ever consider homeschooling.)
• The boys got moved into the same room, which means Felix doesn't get enough sleep.
• We bought a new dresser for the boys, and they now do the bulk of putting their own clothes away. (Lazy Mother of the Year!)
• Had our second shepherds' meal the Monday before Christmas. Ike astounded us with everything he could remember about the angels visiting the shepherds.
• Lots of trips and picnics at the gardens at Thanksgiving Point. We love that place.

Birthdays:

• I turned 31. Eric and I went out for burgers at Five Guys, and then we did a little shopping.
• Our family birthdays are now August, September, October, November, and December, with Trixie being in August. The farther away we got from her actual day of birth, the more capable we were of doing fun things for the other birthdays. Eric's birthday in September was an afterthought. Sorry, dude.
• We started going to Cold Stone to use our buy-one-get-one coupons. Best tradition ever.
• Ike had a his first-ever birthday party with friends, and it was a lot of fun. Eric was a terrific party entertainer.

Goals for 2016:

• Keep Trixie healthy for the remainder of flu/cold/RSV season.
• Resume making bread for the family. (Totally stopped that early in 2015 and haven't been able to get going again.)
• Read all the books for book group. (I read most for 2015. I think I skipped out on the months when I knew I couldn't attend.)
• Host a meal for parents and families at the Ronald McDonald Family Room in Primary Children's Hospital.

Trixie's Birth Story

Birth stories can become insanely long. I'm going to try to keep this one pretty short.

I called the hospital bright and early to see if they still had room for me, and they said yes. I gathered some of my things and headed over. Eric stayed behind to wake up with the kids and take them to the neighbor's house.

The nurse got me going on an IV and my doctor broke my water. I was dilated to a 3 and about 70% effaced at that time. Eric arrived, and we watched some episodes of "Parks and Rec" and later began watching True Grit, which I purchased for the sole purpose of watching during labor.

The baby's heart rate was low, so they had me lay on my side and gave me an oxygen mask. The mask smelled funny. It was a little hard to hear over the whirring of the oxygen. I was not a fan, but the baby needed it.

As the contractions started to be bothersome, I asked for my epidural. With Ike I waited a while, but this time I didn't fight it. In my previous two experiences the epidural did not slow things down, and I was a much happier human after getting it.

The anesthesiologist came and gave me my epidural. Several minutes later I was not feeling numb at all. He came back to check its efficacy and agreed that it wasn't working. He removed it and tried again. By this time the contractions had picked up, but they were still not too bad.

Once the second epidural was in place I could tell it was stronger on the left than the right. I mentioned it to my nurse (who was really fantastic, by the way), and she suggested it was because I was lying on the right side. She helped me roll to my left, but it did not change things.

Meanwhile, the epidural caused my blood pressure (which tends to be kind of low anyway) to drop a lot. I got a total of four rounds of epinephrine, and eventually my nurse called the charge nurse to come in.

Around this time I was feeling a lot of pain and pressure, and my biggest worry was that the anesthesiologist wouldn't have time to come in and fix my epidural before it was time to deliver. This was a legitimate concern. As I noticed the pressure intensifying, I asked to be checked. The charge nurse checked me and said I was a 9 and 100% effaced. There was a flurry of activity as they called my doctor and his med students and the nurses to get ready. Everyone had to get scrubs on because I had to deliver in the operating room. The hospital has a few delivery rooms that have windows directly to the NICU (newborn intensive care unit), but all those rooms were occupied, which was why I got to deliver in an operating room.

Although the epidural was working somewhat, it was definitely not 100%. My guess is that it was probably about 50%-70%. I was wheeled into the operating room at 2:17, and our daughter was born at 2:24. It was not a very long amount of time, but it felt like eternity. At one point one of the many, many, many people in the room told me to open my eyes and look down, but my gown was bunched up, and I couldn't really see the baby.

Because of her heart defect, they took her away immediately to the NICU. They showed her to me briefly, but I was too dazed to really appreciate it. Everyone had commented on how much hair she had, and I did notice that. We took care of some post-birth matters in the operating room for a few minutes, and then we went back to the room I'd been in most of the day.

A few minutes later, Eric got to go to the NICU and see our baby. We learned she weighed 7 pounds 3 ounces, and she had a lot of hair. She was doing really well, all things considering.

 

After a few hours the NICU team was ready to transfer her to Primary Children's Hospital (PCH). The transfer team brought her to see me in my room, but she was in her incubator, and I was in my hospital bed, still unable to walk from the epidural. (You'd think an epidural that didn't work very well would wear off fast, but no.)

A little while after the transfer team took Trixie to PCH, I got moved to my post-delivery recovery room. Eric's parents came to visit, and they brought our other kids. We all headed to the cardiac intensive care unit (CICU) at PCH to visit Trixie. It was bad timing because we got there around shift change, and only the parents are allowed to visit for that hour window. Plus, right when we got there they were doing an echocardiogram to determine if the pre-natal diagnosis was still accurate. The boys were understandably nervous about their new sister. (Felix was particularly concerned about the blood around her belly button and the fact that she wasn't wearing any clothes.) We did manage to get each brother to touch her and talk to her. (Both were happy to speak to her but reticent to touch her.)

Then, the doctors were doing rounds. Then the cardiologists wanted to speak to me and Eric about the findings of the echocardiogram. Finally, finally, finally, about 7 hours after her birth, I got to hold my Trixie.

There were so many tubes, and the giant IV sticking out of her forehead was very sad, but I was so happy to finally meet her and hold her.

The days since then have been a bit of a whirlwind, but she's doing well, and I'm sure I'll post about them soon.

2015 Road Trip - In Numbers (And A Few Pictures)

11 days, 10 nights
8 states (Utah, Nevada, California, Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming)
Canoeing in 5 rivers and 1 ocean bay

 

17 miles of bike riding on the Hiawatha Trail (which was, apparently, exhausting for everyone)

 

About 8 miles of hiking (mostly in the Redwoods)

  

3 brothers and 1 sister visited

20 cousins visited

4 nights of camping

3 successful attempts at hitch hiking (by Eric)

And the discovery that one boy cannot get enough of playing in the ocean (no matter how frigid), while the other one cannot get away fast enough.

And since I'm a little bothered by the lack of chronological order of this post, a brief summary of our actual trip:

• From Utah to California to see the Redwoods.
• Along the coast of Oregon to stay in Netarts with Eric's sister and her family for a few days.
• Additional canoeing and camping in Oregon, then off to northern Idaho (via Portland) to visit Eric's brother and family for a few days.
• From Northern Idaho to Missoula, Montana, to visit another of Eric's brothers and his family overnight.
• Down to Jackson Hole for a quick stay with my brother (and Ike got to stay an additional night).
• Home again, home again, jiggity jog.

A Few Delightful Things

• The flowers are blooming, and we welcomed our first (that we've seen) visiting hummingbird to our yard on Sunday morning. He was scoping out some salvia. I failed to capture a great picture, but here is my attempt nonetheless.

• Our sprinklers have been turned off thanks to all the rain we've had in the past few weeks.
• We've been buying girl clothes at yard sales. And I've bought a few items new too. Trixie will not be naked.
• Eric has fewer than ten school days left. We have so many fun (and productive!) summer plans.
• Our first roses have bloomed, and we've cut some and brought them in. So many more to come this year.

• Noosa Yoghurt. Seriously. My favorite is coconut, but lemon is a surprisingly close second.
• Protonix, or its generic equivalent. My extreme heartburn this pregnancy is finally under control, and along with it, most of my nausea.

Thoughts on Breastfeeding

The title was your warning. If you're not interested, I'm not offended. Also, this is a long post.

I'm a proponent of breastfeeding. There are the innumerable health and bonding benefits, and also, it is free. Nursing Ike was a breeze. We both picked up on it very quickly. I did have really tender nipples for a few weeks, but other than that I never really had any complications or problems.

I wasn't naive about nursing, though. I knew that it didn't come easily for everyone. Some women's bodies don't do it as well as others. Some babies don't pick up on it as well as others. I've talked to enough women and read enough women's accounts of breastfeeding that I wasn't expecting things with Felix to be a walk in the park just because Ike had been so easy.

The major difference in nursing my two boys is that I was able to nurse Ike within about an hour of his being born, despite the fact that he was taken to the special care nursery for observation right after being born. Felix was under observationfor so much longer than Ike. By the time they brought him to me it had been about 6 hours since he was born. When the nurse first handed me to do skin-to-skin cuddling (right after birth), he was rooting around, but the nurse was fairly concerned about his grunting. I asked if I should nurse him, but she said it was important to get his breathing regulated first. But he didn't get his breathing regulated and had to go to the nursery and be put on a machine that helped dry out his lungs. He was only on the machine for an hour, but then he kept grunting periodically, so even when I finally got to go visit him in the nursery I was still told I couldn't nurse him. I understood why I couldn't but it was still stressful to me.

I wasn't worried that he'd go hungry. I was assured that newborns can go for several hours after birth without eating. I was worried about the bonding we'd missed and chance for him to start nursing and start figuring out nursing right away.

When they finally brought him to me to keep, we immediately tried to nurse. At first he didn't even try. I did the tricks of touching his cheeks and his lips with my fingers and my nipples, and he had no rooting response. The nurse suggested just doing some skin-to-skin cuddling. She said this might get him rooting around, and it did. That was a good first step, but even when I tried to bring his mouth to my nipple, he wouldn't latch on.

And I don't mean that he got a shallow latch or he wouldn't open his mouth wide enough. I mean that he just sort of wiggled his head around and wouldn't close his mouth around my nipple at all. After several minutes of trying we were able to get it worked out.

Which is when the contractions hit. After Ike was born, I had minor cramping when I breastfed him. Nobody had warned me about it, but the nurses explained that it was because breastfeeding releases the hormone oxytocin, which is the same hormone that causes the uterus to contract. Nursing would help my uterus return to normal faster. It was also a great way for me to know whether or not my baby was successfully nursing or just sort of hanging out there without actually getting any nutrition.

There was no cramping with Felix. These were full-on contractions. They were sometimes as bad as the ones I was having when I arrived at the hospital. They lasted pretty much the entire time I nursed, and then usually for a few minutes afterward. I was happy to know Felix was getting milk; I was happy to know my body was doing its job; I was not at all happy about these pains. Every time it was time to nurse I would cringe knowing what was about to happen.

The fact that Felix and I had been separated for several hours in addition to the fact that nursing was so painful to me, I think, made it much harder for us to bond. This lack of bonding made me feel guilty. The feelings of guilt did not help the bonding process.

By Sunday evening we seemed to have gotten things straightened out. He didn't latch on immediately, but for the most part he seemed to do okay with nursing. I decided he was probably okay to have a pacifier. Dumb.

Sunday night, just before Eric left, it was time to nurse Felix before sending him off to the nursery. He absolutely would not latch on. He had reverted back to that same odd behavior we started with of just sort of holding my nipple in his open mouth and wondering what to do with it. He was also getting very hungry and frustrated. I had to call in the nurse to help me. She gave me some great suggestions, like expressing a little bit of colostrum onto my nipple so that Felix would be enticed into sucking enough to get some nutrition. (Colostrum is apparently about as thick as honey and usually takes a baby about 10-15 sucks just to get a small taste. It would certainly be frustrating to deal with that if you were hungry RIGHT THIS SECOND!) Eric was able to get Felix nice and calm, and when he gave Felix back to me he was relaxed enough that he latched on, and patient enough to suck enough that he didn't quit in frustration.

When he was brought to me later that night, it was the same thing. Only this time Eric wasn't there to calm Felix down. And Felix was inconsolable with me, probably because he knew I was the source of the food, and I wasn't giving it to him. (Not for a lack of trying.) I called the nurse in again. She was able to calm him down, but he still would not nurse. We eventually decided to give him a little formula via a syringe attached to a skinny tube. He was given a teensy bit of formula, and it was enough to get him sucking on my nipple, with the tube also in his mouth. This worked, and I figured if we could just keep him in the habit of knowing how to suck, things would get easier when my milk came in.

During the next feeding he wouldn't nurse again. The syringe and tube trick didn't work. The colostrum on the nipple didn't work. Nothing worked. The nurse gave him formula from a bottle. I was too tired to beat myself up about it.

Later in the morning, it was much the same. Only this time the shift change had happened, and I didn't want to call in the new nurse, whom I hadn't even met yet. I ended up just caving and giving Felix a bottle with formula. This time I was too tired not to beat myself up about it.

So I was feeling pretty guilty about this, and then the day nurse came in. She probably had been informed about the nursing problems during the night. (In fact, the night nurse told me I'd be put at the top of the list for the lactation consultant who would come around in the morning.) The nurse recognized that I had given Felix some formula, and she asked what was up. I told her that I had just not been able to nurse, and I was tired, and he was frustrated and hungry, so I gave him some formula. She then warned me about the dangers of nipple confusion and all the reasons to stick with nursing and not give up. She was not attacking me in any way, but I was totally exhausted and very hormonal, and I just burst into tears. And I could not stop crying. I also told her that this meant my milk was coming in.  I did pretty much the same thing when the lactation consultant came in and when I talked to Eric on the phone. It was just not awesome.

The lactation consultant was able to give me some good ideas to help. She told me to call her in the next time I tried to nurse. The next time I started to nurse, I had her paged. By the time she arrived Felix had latched on okay, so she was able to observe his latch and make sure he could do it properly. (He could.) When I switched sides she watched and gave me more tips and pointers. She was really helpful, and she agreed that his impatience would be alleviated when my milk came in because he wouldn't have to work as hard to get some satisfaction. She also said to not use the pacifier anymore, which by that time I had realized was a mistake. She said to give it at least two weeks before introducing it again, which seemed like overkill to me. (He's been fine switching back and forth this weekend.)

Since coming home, Felix's ability to nurse really has improved. He latches readily and nurses thoroughly. I've been pumping as well, which has been helpful with the inevitable engorgement issues. I like the idea that one of these nights I'll be able to have Eric give Felix a bottle while I continue resting. I'm definitely going to wait until I'm 100% confident in his ability to nurse before we bring a bottle into play, though.

Felix's Birth Story

I wrote this post and then realized its length was absurd. If you do not care to read it all, there are bullet points below the picture at the bottom.

On Friday night I started having noticeable, sometimes painful contractions. They began about 6:30, probably, and gradually picked up in intensity and frequency as the the night wore on. I ended up staying awake until like 3, timing them and making sure that this was the real thing. (In addition to the false labor I had blogged about from the Saturday before, I experienced a similar episode of regular non-painful contractions lasting almost seven hours the following Monday.) I knew this was really labor because the contractions were painful, were mostly growing in intensity, and were gradually increasing in frequency, albeit with a little variation in each of those categories. I eventually decided that maybe it was possible to sleep through some of the contractions, so I went to bed and slept off and on for about three hours.

Saturday morning we did last minute packing and room-arranging things. We got a hold of Eric's dad and let him know we'd need him to meet us at the hospital to pick up Ike. I worked through my contractions and used an online timer to see how frequent they were. I had two main objectives with going to the hospital:

1. Do not arrive so early that I would be told to walk the halls trying to get things going.
2. Do not arrive so early that I would be sitting around in a triage or labor room waiting for things to happen when I could be at home hanging out with my boy in his last few minutes as an only child and doing random last-minute things like dusting the coffee table and fireplace mantel.

When I had woken up at 6, things seemed to be progressing fairly quickly, and I thought we'd head to the hospital before the first session of General Conference started at 10. I was wrong. We stayed home and cued up Conference on the computer. When I had contractions I would stand up and lean over the arm of the couch and sway through them. They were painful but tolerable.

Sometimes Eric would try to talk to me while I was having a contraction, usually not knowing that I was having one. Once he asked me if I wanted some grapes. I didn't have the ability to answer yes or no, but I was somehow able to tell him, "I can't answer that question right now." In thinking about that after the contraction I realized that my ability to talk was not really hampered, it was my ability to think and make decisions - even one as simple as whether or not I'd like some grapes - that was totally impaired.

I hung out at home having contractions until about 11:30. I was hoping to make it through the whole first session of Conference (two hours), but at some point I realized that I would still have a 20-minute car ride, during which I'd have at least four contractions where I'd be forced to sit down. Sitting during contractions was an unbearable thought to me, so I wanted to go before the contraction frequency was too high.

We got to the hospital, and saw Eric's dad waiting for us. Eric helped him move Ike and his belongings, and I went into the hospital by myself to check in. I felt a little silly doing that, but it wasn't like Eric would be able to do much more for me than he was already doing. When I got to the reception desk I told them I'd been having contractions all night, and that they had been about 3-5 minutes apart for at least the last hour. Apparently it had been a bit of a busy morning, and they had to decide where to put me. There were no open triage rooms, so they put me right into a labor and delivery room and told me to change into the gown, etc., etc.

The nurse came in and started chatting with me. I have no idea what we talked about. Probably when my contractions started, how painful they were and that sort of thing. When she checked my cervix she was shocked, and told me that I was already dilated to a 7. I was also shocked. It had taken hours and hours of being on pitocin before I got to a 7 with Ike, and this whole labor had been so different than that. I figured that maybe I was up to a 6, based on my level of pain. The nurse very quickly got a few other nurses to start getting my deliver room ready. They told me I'd walked in so calmly they couldn't imagine I was as far as I was. Apparently some other laboring mom had come in earlier in near hysterics and was only dilated to a 3. I was feeling pretty tough. But not tough enough to tell them to skip the epidural. Amid the flurry of prepping the room, the nurse requested the anesthesiologist.

I got my epidural at about 1. It was very different than the last one. With Ike I literally had no sensation whatsoever from the waist down. I couldn't even wiggle my toes. With this one I could still move my legs, although not very effectively. I could feel the contractions still, so I had an idea of what was going on. The epidural was a little stronger on the left side than the right, but overall I liked that it basically took the edge off the pain without knocking out my feeling altogether.

At 1:40 I was dilated to a 9. I stayed there for a while, and at 2:25 my doctor arrived to break my water. (I had seen him momentarily twice before that point. I'm pretty sure he was delivering another patient right before me.)

The nurse kept checking me, and at about 3:25 the doctor came in. The nurse had made several comments about how low the baby was and how easy this was going to be. I told Eric I was going to do six pushes and have the baby. He did not believe me and asked how many pushes it had taken to birth Ike. I told him it was a lot more - almost an hour of pushing, but he was the first baby, and I was feeling good about this one. He was still incredulous.

I was right. Two contractions - three pushes each contraction - and Felix was here. He immediately gave a good cry, they wiped him down, and they gave him to me to hold. Then they took him away some more and did whatever else. Then they gave him back to me for some skin to skin contact. Unfortunately he was grunting an awful lot, so he got sent to the nursery for observation, like they had to do with Ike. He was under observation for almost six hours, and that was definitely the worst part of the day. But he's fine, and I'm fine, and everyone is fine.

Anyway, awesome labor and delivery. That is why I do not look like death in my pictures.

• Contractions beginning Friday night about 6:30 and gradually picking up all evening and into the night.
• Hospital at noon on Saturday.
• Dilated to a 7 upon arrival.
• Epidural.
• Dilated to a 9 by 1:40.
• Water broken at 2:25.
• Pushing at 3:25. Two contractions, a total of six pushes.
• Felix born at 3:34.
• Easy peasy.

He's Here!

Felix was born on Saturday, 6 October 2012 at 3:34 P.M. He weighed 6 pounds, 14 ounces, and we're both doing well. (Ike is still at Grandma and Grandpa's, so he's doing particularly well!) I'll be writing a blog post about the birth story sometime soon.

Big Day

I have never written it on my blog, but I've not-so-secretly been hoping Felix would be born on 6 October 2012. Written in the (stupid) American system it looks like this: 10/06/12. That's a nice looking number. But it's even better when you remember that Ike's birthday is 6 December 2010 or 12/06/10.

Yesterday my doctor stripped my membranes. I hoped it would work, but I didn't want to put all my eggs in one basket. It didn't work with Ike.

Then I started having regular, painful contractions last  night. And they've kept up and are increasing. I'll head to the hospital in a little while. And I'll most likely have a baby today.

Now, to figure out his real-life name.

38 Weeks

I just went twelve days without writing a blog post. You might think I had a baby in that time. I did not. See, still pregnant at 38 weeks and 2 days:

At my appointment on Wednesday  (just 2 days shy of 38 weeks) I was dilated to a 3 and about 80% effaced. My brother came into town that night, and I used his visit as an excuse to make a good Southern meal - fried chicken, fried green tomatoes, mashed potatoes (and Swiss chard so Eric wouldn't feel like he was about to keel over of a heart attack.) That night I noticed a lot more contractions while I was on my feet. Then the next night I tried to get my kitchen tidied up after the previous night's overzealousness, and also I cooked a carb-loading meal for my brother (he was prepping for a marathon for the coming Saturday), and I again noticed a fair amount of contractions. Both nights, by the time I settled down so did my uterus.

Then last night after going to the Relief Society broadcast, I was watching a movie with Eric, and I was having a lot of very noticeable contractions - also some that were hardly noticeable at all. This was different than the other nights where the contractions were going on while I was busy and on my feet. I really began to wonder if I was in labor. I even made Eric pack my hospital bag while I sat on the bed and timed contractions. Ultimately I was having contractions about every five minutes, usually lasting for at least a minute, but they didn't seem to be strong enough to merit going to the hospital. Plus it was late and I was tired and didn't want to harass a neighbor to watch Ike for what might ultimately be a false alarm. I decided to go to bed. If I was really in labor, then the contractions would wake me up.

I woke up many times during the night, but only to use the bathroom. No baby yet. And that's fine, because I really want him to have an October birthday, and now he will.

Also, in case you were wondering, I am measuring very small. This is for two reasons: (a) the baby is very low, so he's just not in my belly area as much and (b) he's just measuring kind of small in general. At 37 weeks the doctor was a little worried after measuring my belly and seeing it was small, so he did an ultrasound and measured Felix's head and femur. Based on those measurements it looked like he was measuring about the 18th percentile for babies at 37 weeks.

36 Weeks

 Here I am at 36 weeks and 2 days. I went to the doctor on Wednesday (35 weeks and 5 days) and the doctor told me that he didn't think I'd possibly go past my due date. (Baby head-down and very low. Dilated to a 2.) I told him I'd heard that before. (Reminder: I was told at 36 weeks with Ike that there was almost no chance I'd go past my due date. Then I was induced a week after my due date.)

So, yeah, we're getting another baby soon. I feel good. The baby seems to be healthy. Things are going well.

34 Weeks

I have been horrible about posting pregnant pictures of myself. Too bad. This is me at 34 weeks and 2 days. (The last photos were at 26 weeks and 2 days.)

 

I'm feeling really good and getting excited about this little person. Overall, this pregnancy has been easier than my first, and I'm unbelievably grateful for that. Fingers crossed that we can keep up the good feelings.

Naming Babies

Naming this baby has been such a different experience than naming Ike. We had our real-life name for Ike picked out long before we even wanted kids. It was just the First Boy Name that we both liked and wanted to use. We toyed with a few different middle names before settling on one, but that wasn't a very big deal. Then, it took me a good long while to come up with a blog name for him that I liked.

This time is totally the opposite. I had a blog name ripe and ready before I even knew if I was pregnant. Eric and I have generally had a list of names we like, but as we reviewed it pretty much all the names kind of seemed "blah" to us. (We are pretty set on this kid's middle name, which was originally on our list of first names. It got booted.)

I never imagined myself as one of those people that didn't have a name already chosen for a child. When people told me they would have to see the baby to make a decision, I thought they were a little crazy. (Not completely crazy, just a little.) How could they not know? Didn't they have a list of Favorite Names for Future Children? And yet, that is totally the situation that we are finding ourselves in. (Granted, I'm only 28 weeks along, so we still have a good 12 or so weeks to come to an agreement. I don't think it's going to happen, though.)

There were several weeks where naming this baby caused me a lot of angst. The fact that Eric and I weren't really agreeing on names was distressing. The fact that people around me were using names on my list (particularly people in my ward who are having boys right before me - boys who will be in my child's Primary class) was also distressing. (Let's make it clear that they have every right to name their children whatever they want. They just happened to be having babies only a few months before me, and using names on my list, for me, means those names get moved down on the list. Significantly.) The fact that some people told me straight up they didn't like a name that I liked irritated me. (Except Eric, he is allowed to say that since this is his child too.) The fact that people kept asking me about names made me nervous. But mostly the fact of not knowing was nerve-wracking. (Remember how I like to know.)

And then, a couple of weeks ago I realized that I hadn't even pondered my baby's name in days. I just hadn't thought about it. And it was okay. I don't know how I got to this point, but I'm glad that I have. My baby doesn't have a real-life name yet. It's okay. We'll take our list to the hospital and see what fits. It will be okay. And if all else fails, maybe we can name him Felix.

26 Weeks

Actually, this was 26 weeks and 2 days. I wore this top (with a black skirt) to church on Sunday and I had a few people comment that I was finally looking pregnant. Others were surprised to know I was pregnant at all.

I like this top because it is not a maternity top, but it I can totally keep wearing it for a long time. Plus it's one of only a few non-solid tops that I own.

In totally unrelated news to pregnancy or anything, I got stung by a wasp today. Twice. Boohoo. I had been watering the plants outside when I heard Ike scream and cry. He was around the front of the house where a known wasp nest has been unsuccessfully attacked with poison. I immediately thought he might have been stung and ran to rescue him. When I saw him on the steps I wasn't sure if he had been stung and then had fallen or perhaps had just fallen. In my swift mama bear rescue, the wasps, who were already agitated about us being outside to begin with, attacked me as I grabbed Ike and rushed into the house. I brought the child upstairs and took off his clothes which were soaking wet from him "helping" me water the plants. I didn't see any wasp stings, so I think he just fell down, which is something he does all the time. That was a boring story, so just enjoy the part where I have a slightly pregnant belly.

Also enjoy how the front of my hair is so blonde. And maybe also notice the little farmer's tan on my arm. Thanks, gardening!

Fuzzy Memories

A real conversation Eric and I had this morning:

Eric: Hey, Ike is 19 months old today!
Me: Oh, is it the sixth?
Eric: No, it's the seventh. I guess it was yesterday.
Me: I'm sorry I didn't provide you with an easier date to remember. [Referring to the fact that our boy was born one day ahead of the anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor.] I guess I should have let my labor last a few more hours.
Eric: Yeah, like 11 more hours.
Me: What? No, only like 5.
Eric: He was born at like 1 in the afternoon.
Me: No, he wasn't. He was born at like 7 at night.
Eric: Was it really that late? I didn't think it lasted that long.

I then told him that I knew it was pretty late because by the time I was all finished up the kitchen was closed so my dinner consisted of a packed lunch rather than a hot meal. He seemed to not remember that at all. I am glad to think that the day flew by for him. It should be a good sign regarding how he feels about accompanying me through the birth of this next kid.

When Mom is Doped Up

In my "Whirlwind Weeks" post I mentioned that something amusing had happened on a day when I wasn't feeling well. Here's the story (and photo!):

On Wednesday throughout the day I felt pretty blah. Eric came home from work and took a nap because he felt the same. Ike seemed to be a slower version of his normal self, although he didn't seem to have any particular symptoms. I spent the evening trying to distract myself from my nausea and actually getting a fair amount of work done once the boy went down to bed. As I was getting ready for bed I remembered that I have a prescription for an anti-nausea medicine. My doctor gave it to me at my very first appointment because I had such severe migraines for the first few weeks of my pregnancy. These particular migraines were often accompanied by fairly bad nausea, so my doctor gave me prescriptions for both the migraines and the nausea. I had only taken maybe two of the anti-nausea pills because after getting the prescriptions filled I rarely had migraine or nausea problems. (Hooray!) One thing I knew for sure from taking the nausea medicine was that it worked, and it totally knocked me out. Not only that, but I frequently found it hard to get over the accompanying exhaustion, long after the pill had worn off.

Still, in great need of a good night's sleep and knowing that my nausea would keep me up all night, I decided to take one of those anti-nausea pills. It worked. I was able to sleep.

Only I wasn't really able to wake up on Thursday morning. I woke up a little bit, and I was dimly cognizant of the things going on around me, but mostly I was in some sort of anti-nausea drug hangover. I know Ike slept in quite late that morning - I think close to 8, which is really a big deal in our house. I vaguely remember Eric getting Ike out of bed and bringing him to our room as he got ready for work and headed out the door.

At some point I got up and got the child some milk and tried to feed him breakfast. He wasn't interested. I also changed a diaper. I also broke my "binkies are for bedtime" rule and gave my child a binkie, primarily so he would be a little more pacified and calm about the fact that I was 100% completely ignoring him. And then I went back to sleep. I dozed off and on for the next little while. I could hear Ike rummaging through bathroom cabinets, emptying laundry bins, throwing toys down the stairs and generally being a toddler. As time wore on I heard not a lot of noise at all, except for the consistent sucking on the pacifier. It was lovely and helped me sleep better.

Then somebody from work called and asked me to take care of some work stuff that was fairly urgent. I was finally able to pull myself out of bed. And I found this on my bedroom floor:

Yes, his shirt says "Crabby." No, it does not fit his personality at all.

I snapped this picture with my super awesome flip-phone camera, and then I moved Ike to his bed.

I did the work stuff, then went back to sleep until 1, in case you were wondering. Then I got up, and Ike followed shortly thereafter. (Yes, the child napped from roughly 10-1:30. He's a gem.) I still managed to put in like three hours of work that day. And I managed to get dressed and get my child dressed before Eric got home. It was a good day.

20 Weeks

Twenty weeks, folks. Where is the baby? Hanging out toward my back, I believe.

It's pretty common knowledge that your belly pops out faster on the second pregnancy. I did experience that a little bit, but for the most part people who don't know I'm pregnant can't really tell that I've got a baby bump. A couple of weeks ago, my boss, whom I am friends with on Facebook and who has commented on/liked various pregnancy status updates, asked me to verify that I was indeed pregnant. For comparison, this was me at 21 weeks with Ike:

Also, I've been trying to decide if I should go back to short hair. Historically Eric had liked it short (like the third picture), but then sometime before Ike was born he was looking at pictures from earlier in our marriage and asked me to grow it out again. I haven't gotten it cut short in about two years, but I'm considering going back to that for a while. Thoughts?

Whirlwind Weekend

This weekend I took my fifth trip in seven weeks. Unlike the others this was not a work trip, and I got to take Ike with me. We flew to Sacramento where we met my sister who was coming in from Dallas. Then we headed up to the Redding area to attend our cousin's wedding.

Highlights:

• Getting to hang out with my sister for a weekend. We hadn't seen each other since last July, and Ike needed an aunt to dote upon him. (At least he thinks he did.)
• Going to my cousin's wedding. We just met for the first time in 2010, and my sister had never met her. (I know, it's odd. It's also kind of complicated.)
• Being in beautiful northern California. It's seriously lovely up there. Kind of hot, but lovely.
• Some incredible strangers who helped me lug my belongings and care for my toddler during my travels. Seriously, I owe the universe so many good deeds after this weekend. One man carried my luggage and Ike's car seat from the shuttle bus to the Southwest Airlines check-in line. To me it was way above and beyond a simple favor.
• Visiting the Sundial Bridge and the Shasta Dam.
• Viewing the solar eclipse via the reflections of another passenger's wedding ring. When the light hit it just right the reflections made these perfect crescents all around. I knew I wouldn't have the chance to see the eclipse because I'd arrive back in Utah too late, so I was very happy when she pointed out the reflections. It was as good as I could get given the traveling circumstances.
• Getting my child to finally call me "ma" when trying to get my attention; as opposed to just shouting at me indiscriminately.
• Watching my child put two signs together for the first time; they were "more" and "please." Of course.
• Coming home to a very clean house, home-made beef jerky and brownies, and a husband who finished a couple of other projects over the weekend. He was a busy man.

On a mostly unrelated note, yes, this is what 19 weeks pregnant with my second baby actually looks like. Feel free to be jealous; I'm still in regular clothes and shocking people when I tell them I'm pregnant.

Baby #2

I had a regular OB appointment on Monday, and while I was there, the doctor suggested we have a peak at the baby and see if we could tell the gender. Sixteen weeks is about as early as you can tell, so there was no guarantee that we were going to be able to tell, but it would be fun just to see the baby anyway. As soon as the image came up on the screen, I could tell that this was a boy baby. (Just like I told you.) The image below isn't very good, but the one I saw in the office was as clear as day.

We're very excited, especially Eric who thinks this baby already has a name, which he doesn't. But he does have a blog name. It's Felix.

Birthdays

Eric's birthday is in September, mine's in November, and Ike's is in December. That means we planned things rather perfectly since the new baby is due in the middle of October.

Facts:

• I'm 14 weeks along.
• This first trimester hasn't been as bad as the first trimester with Ike, besides the frequent and very bad migraines I experienced the first several weeks. The general exhaustion has been much lower, and the nausea has also been significantly lower. Huzzah.
• I alternate between being extremely thrilled and being extremely overwhelmed about having another baby.
• Unlike my pregnancy with Ike where people still could not tell I was pregnant when I was like 20 weeks along, my muscles and ligaments began giving up at about 9 weeks. Other people couldn't tell that early, but I could. (With Ike I didn't begin noticing until about 16 weeks - maybe even later.) (Only one person has pointed out my belly and asked if I'm pregnant. She is nearly five. If she noticed then grownups are noticing too but are being more polite.)
• If you had asked us any time before I was actually pregnant if we had good name ideas I would have told you that we probably had more baby names than we would have children, and we had all our favorites at the ready. We are less certain now. Bah.
• But I do have an arsenal of blog names this time around. This child will not have a temporary blog name like Ike did.
• I think it is a boy baby.
• If you ask Ike where the baby is, he will point at my body somewhere between my collar bone and my legs. In actuality, he has no idea what's happening. He'll be about 22 months when New Baby comes.
• Yes, I took Clomid again. I had some left over from last time, so I just treated myself on the same dose that worked with Ike. It worked the first time.
• I took one negative pregnancy test, two ambiguous ones, and finally one that showed I was clearly pregnant. It was so different than last time where I was certain I wasn't pregnant (because I had taken a test that said I had not ovulated. I found out much later those tests are notoriously inaccurate).
• Having done this once before, I have more set ideas about what I plan to do during the delivery. This time around I'm going to skip the painkiller fentanyl and go straight to the epidural. Also maybe I won't be induced, but if I am, that's okay. Also, I'm going to cut the cord this time, and maybe also the baby can be given to me immediately this time. Since my dad won't be having triple bypass surgery the day this kid is born I will also have a strict phones-off policy. I just want everyone to leave me alone. I'll call, text, and update Facebook once the baby gets here.
• We got to tell some of Eric's family in a very fun way: 

Did I skip anything?